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| Nelson Mandela 1918-2013 |
Once we began our interview. Winnie took on just such a role, playing
the tremulous bride-to-be, convincing me she was in a state of nervous
excitement at the prospect of rekindling her life’s great love.
Close up she had, like her husband, the charisma of the vastly
self-confident, and there was a coquettish, eye-fluttering sensuality
about her. It was not hard to imagine how the young woman who met
Mandela one rainy evening in 1957 had struck him, as he would later
confess, like a thunderbolt.
The Mandela the world saw wore a mask that disguised his private
feelings, presenting himself as a fearless hero, immune to ordinary
human weakness. His effectiveness as a leader hung, he believed, on
keeping that public mask from cracking. Winnie offered the greatest test
to his resolve. During the following years the mask cracked only twice.
She was the cause both times.
The first was in May 1991. She had just been convicted at
Johannesburg’s Rand Supreme Court of assault and accessory to kidnapping
a 14-year-old black boy called Stomple Moeketsi, whom her driver had
subsequently murdered. Winnie had been led to believe, falsely as it
turned out, that the boy had been working as a spy for the apartheid
state.
Winnie and Mandela walked together down the steps of the grand court
building. Once again the actress, she swaggered to the street, right
fist raised in triumph. It was not clear what she could possibly have
been celebrating, except perhaps the perplexing straight off to jail and
would remain free pending an appeal.
Mandela had a different grasp of the situation. His face was grey, his eyes were downcast.
The second and last time was nearly a year later. The setting was an
evening press conference hastily summoned at the drab headquarters of
the ANC. He shuffled into the room, sat down at a table and read from a
piece of paper, beginning by paying tribute to his wife.
“During the two decades I spent on Robben Island she was an
indispensable pillar of support and comfort… My love for her remains
undiminished.” There was a general intake of breath. Then he continued:
“We have mutually agreed that a separation would be the best for each of
us… I part from my wife with no recriminations. I embrace her with all
the love and affection I have nursed for her inside and outside prison
from the moment I first met her.”
He rose to his feet. “Ladies and gentlemen. I hope you ‘ll appreciate
the pain I have gone through and I now end this interview.”
He exited the room, head-bowed, amid total silence.
Mandela’s love for Winnie had been, like many great loves, a kind of
madness, all the more so in his case as it was founded more on a fantasy
that he had kept alive for 27 years in prison than on the brief time
they had actually spent together. The demands of his political life
before he was imprisoned were such that they had next to no experience
of married life, as Winnie herself would confess to me that morning.
“I have never lived with Mandela,” she said. “I have never known what
it was to have a close family where you sat around the table with
husband and children. I have no such dear memories. When I gave birth to
my children he was never there, even though he was not in jail at the
time.”
It seemed that Winnie, who was 22 to his 38 when they met, had cast a
spell on him. Or maybe he cast a spell on himself, needing to
reconstruct those fleeting memories of her into a fantasy of tranquility
where he sought refuge from the loneliness of prison life.
His letters to her from Robben Island revealed romantic, sensual side
to his nature that no one but Winnie then knew. He recalled “the
electric current” that “flushed” through his blood as he looked at her
photograph and imagined their caresses.
The truth was that Winnie had had several lovers during Mandela’s
long absence. In the months before his release, she had been having an
affair with Dali Mpofu, a lawyer 30 years her junior and a member of her
defence team. She carried on with the affair after Mandela left prison.
ANC members close to Mandela knew that was going on, as they did about
her frequent bouts of drunkenness. I tried asking them why they did not
talk to Mandela about her waywardness, but I was always met by frosty
stares. Winnie became a taboo subject within the ANC during the two
years after Mandela left prison. Confronting him with the truth was a
step too far for the freedom fighters of the ANC.
His impeccably courteous public persona acted as a coat of armour
protecting the sorrowing man within. But there came a point when Mandela
could deceive himself, or the public, no longer. Details of the affair
with Mpofu were made luridly public in a newspaper report two weeks
before the separation announcement.
The article was a devastating, irrefutable expose of Winnie’s affair.
It was based on a letter she had written to Mpofu that revealed he had
recently had a child with a woman whom she referred to as “a white hag.”
Winnie accused Mpofu of “running around f***** at the slightest
emotional excuse … Before I am through with you, you are going to learn a
bit of honesty and sincerity and know what betrayal of one’s love means
to a woman … Remember always how much you have hurt and humiliated me …
I keep telling you the situation is deteriorating at home, you are not
bothered because you are satisfying yourself every night with a woman. I
won’t be your bloody fool, Dali.”
In private, Mandela had already endured quite enough conjugal
torture. I learnt of one especially hurtful episode from a friend of
Mandela some years later. Not long after the end of her trial, Winnie
was due to fly to America on ANC-related business. She wanted to take
Mpofu with her, and Mandela said she should not, Winnie agreed not to,
but went with him anyway. Mandela phoned her at her hotel room in New
York, and Mpofu answered the phone.
On the face of it, Mandela was a man more sinned against than
sinning, but he did not see it that way. It was his belief that the
original sin was to have put his political cause before his family.
Despite everything, Mandela believed when he left prison that he
would find a way to reconcile political and family life. Some years
after his separation from Winnie, I interviewed his close friend Amina
Cashalia, who had known him since before he met Winnie.” His one great
wish,” she told me, “was that he would come out of prison, and have a
family life again with his wife and the children. Because he’s a great
family man and I think he really wanted that more than anything else and
he couldn’t have it.”
His fallout with Winnie only deepened the catastrophe, contaminating
his relationships with other family members, among them his daughter
Zindzi. She was a far more complicated character than I had imagined
when I chatted with her cheerfully in her mother’s kitchen over fried
eggs. At that very moment, in late January 1990, her current lover, the
father of her third child, was in a prison cell. Five days later he
hanged himself.
Zindzi was very much her mother’s daughter, inheriting her capacity
to dissemble as well as her strength of personality. The unhappiness and
sheer chaos that she would endure in her own private life, a mirror of
her mother’s, found expression in a succession of tense episodes with
her father after he was set free.
One of them took place before friends and family on the day of her
marriage to the father of her fourth child, six months after her
parents’ separation. It was a glittering occasion at Johannesburg’s
swankiest hotel, with Zindzi radiant in a magnificent pearl and sequin
bridal dress. It seemed to be a joyous celebration; in truth, it
provided further evidence of the Mandela family’s dysfunctions.
One of the guests seated near the top table was Helen Suzman, the
white liberal politician and good friend of Mandela. She told me that he
went through the ceremonial motions with all the propriety one would
have expected. He joined in the cutting of the wedding cake and played
his part when the time came to give his speech, declaring, “She’s not
mine now,” as fathers are supposed to do. He did not, however, mention
Winnie in the speech. When he sat down, he looked silent and cheerless.
Maybe he had had time to reflect in the intervening six months on the
depth of Winnie’s betrayal. For more details had emerged of her love
affairs and of the crimes of the gang of young men “Winnie’s boys,” as
they were known in Soweto – who played the role of both bodyguards and
courtly retinue. They had killed at least three young black men, beaten
up Winnie’s perceived enemies and raped ;young girls.
Whether Mandela chose to realise it at the time, he was the reason
that Winnie never ended up going to jail. Some years later, the minister
of justice and the chief of national intelligence admitted to me that
they had conveyed a message to the relevant members of the judiciary to
show Winnie leniency.
Mandela’s mental and emotional wellbeing were essential to the
success of the negotiations between the government and the ANC; for him
to bow out of the process could have had catastrophic consequences for
the country as a whole. Jailing Winnie would be too grave a risk.
Bizarrely, one of the guests at Zindzi’s wedding, prominently
positioned near the top table, was the “white hag” Winnie had derided in
her letter to Mpofu, and she was sitting next to a man I know to be
another former lover of Winnie’s.
It also would have been difficult for Mandela to miss the menacing
glances Winnie cast towards the “hag” although I hope he missed the
moment when Winnie brushed past her and hissed at her former lover: “Go
on! Take her ! Take her!”
When the band struck up and the newly married couple got up to dance,
Mandela, who had been standing up, turned his back on Winnie and
returned stiffly to the top table. Grim-faced for the rest of the night,
he treated Winnie as if she did not exist. At one point, Suzman passed
him a note. “Smile, Nelson,” it said.
In October 1994, five months after Mandela had become president, I
spoke to a friend of his, one of the few people in whom he confided the
details of his marital difficulties. The friend leant over to me and
said: “It’s amazing. He has forgiven all his political enemies, but he
cannot forgive her.”
During their divorce proceedings a year and a half later, he made his
feelings towards Winnie public at the Rand Supreme Court, where he had
accompanied and supported Winnie during her trial in 1991.
As his lawyer would tell me later, he was arbitrarily generous about
sharing his estate, giving Winnie what was more than fair. But he made
his feelings bluntly known in the divorce hearing. Standing a few feet
away from her, he addressed the judge, saying: “Can I put it simply, my
lord? If the entire universe tried to persuade me to reconcile with the
defendant. I would not … I am determined to get rid of this marriage.”
He did not shirk from describing before the court the disappointment
and misery of married life after he returned from prison. Winnie, he
explained, did not share his bed once in the two years after their
reunion. “I was the loneliest man,” he said.
The Victorian poet Arthur Hugh Clough wrote about the “terrible
notions of duty” that boost the public figure but can stunt the private
man. It is impossible to avoid concluding that Mandela was far less at
ease in private than in public life. In the harsh world of South African
politics he had his bearing; in the family sphere he often seemed
baffled and lost.
Happily for his country, one did not drain energy from the other.
Thanks to a kind of self-imposed apartheid of the mind, personal anguish
and the political drive inhabited separate compartments and ran along
parallel lines.
As out of control as she could be in her personal affairs, she
possessed a lucid political intelligence and a mature understanding of
where her husband’s priorities lay, even if she was deluded in
attributing some of his qualities to herself.
“When you lead the kind of life we lead, if you are involved in a
revolutionary situation, you cease to think in terms of self,” she said.
“The question of personal feelings and reactions dues not even arise,
because you are in a position where you think solely in terms of the
nation, the people who have come first all your life.”
•Courtesy:
Kenya today News and Analysis
Extracted from Knowing Mandela by John Carlin
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